Foods And Other Stupid Products That Wrestling Tried To Shove Down Your Neck.
Merchandising has been a part of wrestling for the past 100 years. A lot of which makes sense. However, here is a list of the stupidest and WTF products wrestling companies have tried to pawn on you.
Shoes For Your Feet, Pockets For Your Stuff.
ROOS were shoes with pockets on the side. Which made a deal with the NWA/WCW. Sponsoring the WrestleWar ’90: Wild Thing Pay-Per-View on February 25th, 1990. Which various wrestlers did commercials and print ads. Plus, the product was blasted all over the ring. Which is OK in the grand scheme of things.
ROOS were shoes with pockets on the side. Which made a deal with the NWA/WCW. Sponsoring the WrestleWar ’90: Wild Thing Pay-Per-View on February 25th, 1990. Which various wrestlers did commercials and print ads. Plus, the product was blasted all over the ring. Which is OK in the grand scheme of things.
But the dumb thing was making the wrestlers wear them in the ring. In wrestling, foot and ankle support are essential. You cannot do what wrestlers do with tennis shoes. Their grip on a canvas-type material was severely lacking.
There was no way that Ric Flair was going to wear tennis shoes while in a $8,000 robe. Nor would he wear them while decked out in $30,000 worth of clothes while out on the town. Ric Flair: "My shoes cost more than your, ummmmm, yours".
The shoes with pockets craze did not last very long in itself. These small pockets were only large enough to carry spare change or a lighter. To make things worse, the shoes were already on the downside of their business by the time the head of WCW, Jim Herd, made the sponsorship deal. You needed a crossover promotion with a hot sponsor that is on the rise. Or a tried and true 'Coke-A-Cola' type sponsorship.
There was also the problem that the advertisements were not clear on whether they were a key-demo for kids or athletes. The Road Warriors did a ROOS commercial where they were taking sledgehammers to cars. So, who are you marketing to with something like that. And they really didn't highlight the quality or attributes of the shoes. Selling you on why you should buy the shoes.
There was no way that Ric Flair was going to wear tennis shoes while in a $8,000 robe. Nor would he wear them while decked out in $30,000 worth of clothes while out on the town. Ric Flair: "My shoes cost more than your, ummmmm, yours".
The shoes with pockets craze did not last very long in itself. These small pockets were only large enough to carry spare change or a lighter. To make things worse, the shoes were already on the downside of their business by the time the head of WCW, Jim Herd, made the sponsorship deal. You needed a crossover promotion with a hot sponsor that is on the rise. Or a tried and true 'Coke-A-Cola' type sponsorship.
There was also the problem that the advertisements were not clear on whether they were a key-demo for kids or athletes. The Road Warriors did a ROOS commercial where they were taking sledgehammers to cars. So, who are you marketing to with something like that. And they really didn't highlight the quality or attributes of the shoes. Selling you on why you should buy the shoes.
The reason why you are not getting as much 'tail' as Ric Flair did in 1986 is because you are not wearing the WCW and WWF colognes. If you are wearing these colognes, every time you walk into a room, The Rock's music will start playing, and the girls will scream like you are Kerry Von Erich.
If you smelllllllllll, the cologne. |
Nor are you taking your 4 Horsemen vitamins.
Foods Division.
The WWF put Hulk Hogan on many items that sold through the roof. Items that are quite common and doesn't take much imagination. Shirts, toys, etc. Go to your local Walmart or drug store and see if you can pick up a jug of Python Powder. And if you can't find them, that's because they failed.
We could say our prayers and take our vitamins. But a muscle-building wonder drink is pushing it. However, pushing the limit was right up the wrestling drink industry. As we were hit with a Hulk Hogan fruit juice.
The WWF put Hulk Hogan on many items that sold through the roof. Items that are quite common and doesn't take much imagination. Shirts, toys, etc. Go to your local Walmart or drug store and see if you can pick up a jug of Python Powder. And if you can't find them, that's because they failed.
We could say our prayers and take our vitamins. But a muscle-building wonder drink is pushing it. However, pushing the limit was right up the wrestling drink industry. As we were hit with a Hulk Hogan fruit juice.
While you're out, pick up some WWF cereal. You'll need a time machine for that as well. 1992 stores were filled with the WWF Superstars Breakfast Cereal. With the cereal, complaints came that as soon as it hits milk, it became like cotton chalk. So, kids couldn't see their favorite characters as they ate. And the taste wasn't all there, either.
So, after drinks and cereals, what's next? Well, when Hulk Hogan moved over to WCW, Pasta was the name of the game. Yes, you read correctly, Pastamania was next to run wild on you. 1995 saw the first (and only) PastaMania location. Which opened up at the Mall Of America in Bloomington, Minnesota. That also coincided with the debut of WCW Nitro. So naturally, the night could not end without a promo by Hulk Hogan, selling the crap out of the new PastaMania restaurant. Surrounded by all the little PastaManiacs, Hogan blasted his opponent. "PastaMania runnin' through my brain' and that Rogers will get 'a dose of my Hulk-aroos' off of the menu. To be fair to WCW, this was more of a deal between Hulk Hogan and other investors. But Part of Hogan's deal with WCW was to promote his outside of wrestling ventures.
The titles for the food were what you would expect: Hulkaroni and Cheese and Hulkios. Pasta shaped like the hulk himself.
The titles for the food were what you would expect: Hulkaroni and Cheese and Hulkios. Pasta shaped like the hulk himself.
Restaurants.
Nothing makes one think of fine cuisine more than big, sweaty guys! The WWF didn't learn from Pastamania and opened WWE New York. Settled right on NY's Times Square, some of the most expensive real estate in the world. This was to be a restaurant for wrestling fans.
First off, there were no wrestling-themed dishes and just one piece of wrestling memorabilia. That being an Andre the Giant handprint that you could match against your hand. The Hard Rock Cafe is a themed restaurant that caters to the fans. That's filled with one-of-a kind memorabilia, themed foods, and notable stars appearing. And they have had success, so other fan-themed restaurants should look at them as an example. Vince McMahon didn't!
Second, they promoted that your favorite wrestlers would appear at any time, unannounced. So come back often to improve your chances of seeing The Rock, Stone Cold, etc. But these stars or any others didn't pop in for lunch or dinner. It was organized so that wrestling stars would be there for signing events. And just like other signings, it was waiting in line, and a table separated the two of you.
Some wrestlers would be shown there during Raw and Smackdown. But it was the lower- to mid-card wrestlers. With the TV exposure, fans would come there to be seen on TV. But when WWF cameras weren't there or there weren't pay-per-view parties (you had to pay extra to get in for these), the restaurant did very little business. So after only 4 years, the doors closed.
Nothing makes one think of fine cuisine more than big, sweaty guys! The WWF didn't learn from Pastamania and opened WWE New York. Settled right on NY's Times Square, some of the most expensive real estate in the world. This was to be a restaurant for wrestling fans.
First off, there were no wrestling-themed dishes and just one piece of wrestling memorabilia. That being an Andre the Giant handprint that you could match against your hand. The Hard Rock Cafe is a themed restaurant that caters to the fans. That's filled with one-of-a kind memorabilia, themed foods, and notable stars appearing. And they have had success, so other fan-themed restaurants should look at them as an example. Vince McMahon didn't!
Second, they promoted that your favorite wrestlers would appear at any time, unannounced. So come back often to improve your chances of seeing The Rock, Stone Cold, etc. But these stars or any others didn't pop in for lunch or dinner. It was organized so that wrestling stars would be there for signing events. And just like other signings, it was waiting in line, and a table separated the two of you.
Some wrestlers would be shown there during Raw and Smackdown. But it was the lower- to mid-card wrestlers. With the TV exposure, fans would come there to be seen on TV. But when WWF cameras weren't there or there weren't pay-per-view parties (you had to pay extra to get in for these), the restaurant did very little business. So after only 4 years, the doors closed.
To be fair, in January of 1999, the WCW tried their hands at restaurants again. By opening a wrestling-related theme restaurant, WCW Nitro Grill, located in Las Vegas. Opening inside the Excalibur Hotel & Casino helped ensure that WCW had a steady flow of tourists to entice for their new eatery, which they labeled 'Where the Big Boys Eat'. Fans who made it out to the grand opening were graced with appearances by Kevin Nash, Sting, and Roddy Piper.
Once again, it's in Las Vegas. A very expensive place to operate. The level of superstars needed to make it worthwhile wasn't going to be there on a regular basis. The place was supposed to open in March of 1999. But delays caused it to be set back until May of 1999.
Plus, WCW itself was going through a lot as an entity caught between the merger between AOL and Turner.
Once again, it's in Las Vegas. A very expensive place to operate. The level of superstars needed to make it worthwhile wasn't going to be there on a regular basis. The place was supposed to open in March of 1999. But delays caused it to be set back until May of 1999.
Plus, WCW itself was going through a lot as an entity caught between the merger between AOL and Turner.
Not So Fast
Wrestling has had big men and racy moments. They have also had big trucks and racy cars. Yep, WCW rolled the dice and had monster truck and NASCAR teams. For starters, in 1994, WCW were originally co-sponsored by Dura Lube (leave the lubed-up wrestler jokes at the door). These cars used the competitor brands of oil.
Secondly, this cost money but didn't draw a single dime into WCW. Much like abortion angles and Mae Young giving birth to a hand. How is any of this selling a single ticket or drawing a single TV viewer.
Also, Eric Bischoff's goal was to pull WCW out of a perceived southern-based promotion. While NASCAR has its places throughout the country, NASCAR is perceived as more of a southern sporting event. You never heard a Mafia New York accent coming out of a NASCAR driver. Like the comedian, Jeff Foxworthy, once said that a NASCAR driver speaks so southernly that even other Southerns can't even understand them.
The WCW car didn't win any races of note. There were a few smaller ones, but none that really count. NASCAR star Kyle Petty would go on to drive an NWO-themed car for a few races in 1996 and 1997. The final year for WCW NASCAR came in 2000.
Wrestling has had big men and racy moments. They have also had big trucks and racy cars. Yep, WCW rolled the dice and had monster truck and NASCAR teams. For starters, in 1994, WCW were originally co-sponsored by Dura Lube (leave the lubed-up wrestler jokes at the door). These cars used the competitor brands of oil.
Secondly, this cost money but didn't draw a single dime into WCW. Much like abortion angles and Mae Young giving birth to a hand. How is any of this selling a single ticket or drawing a single TV viewer.
Also, Eric Bischoff's goal was to pull WCW out of a perceived southern-based promotion. While NASCAR has its places throughout the country, NASCAR is perceived as more of a southern sporting event. You never heard a Mafia New York accent coming out of a NASCAR driver. Like the comedian, Jeff Foxworthy, once said that a NASCAR driver speaks so southernly that even other Southerns can't even understand them.
The WCW car didn't win any races of note. There were a few smaller ones, but none that really count. NASCAR star Kyle Petty would go on to drive an NWO-themed car for a few races in 1996 and 1997. The final year for WCW NASCAR came in 2000.
WCW got into the monster truck game via their 1995 Halloween Havoc pay per view. Where a Hulk Hogan and The Giant trucks were designed for a sumo match. That led to the infamous O.M.G. 'The Giant Falls Off the Cobo Hall' scene. After that, the gears got turning, and it was decided that WCW should have a team of wrestler-themed trucks. That's exactly what happened. The most successful of these was the Goldberg truck. However, it only lasted two years. The Nitro Machine didn't even make it a full year.
Gagne-metrics.
When you see workout books, they have an attractive-looking man or woman. Someone that a potential buyer would see and surmise that if I do what is in this book, I will look attractive too. The AWA's Verne Gagne's biggest outside of wrestling venture was his ISO-metrics book.
A system of one-minute workouts for the regular man and woman. Which the exercises were effective. And did use things around the house, such as a doorway, to achieve better physical fitness. But the book that sold this system featured the older Verge Gagne on the cover. Granted, he still looked in very good shape for someone his age. But he was still older-looking and had lost some of his tone. In today's world, we do have magazines for the older people in the world. But younger fitness models are still more sought-after. As they will move more magazines.
Verne was also balding quite badly. And at the time, being bald wasn't widely accepted as cool or in style. Then more so, and even now, a nice head of hair is more desirable.
When you see workout books, they have an attractive-looking man or woman. Someone that a potential buyer would see and surmise that if I do what is in this book, I will look attractive too. The AWA's Verne Gagne's biggest outside of wrestling venture was his ISO-metrics book.
A system of one-minute workouts for the regular man and woman. Which the exercises were effective. And did use things around the house, such as a doorway, to achieve better physical fitness. But the book that sold this system featured the older Verge Gagne on the cover. Granted, he still looked in very good shape for someone his age. But he was still older-looking and had lost some of his tone. In today's world, we do have magazines for the older people in the world. But younger fitness models are still more sought-after. As they will move more magazines.
Verne was also balding quite badly. And at the time, being bald wasn't widely accepted as cool or in style. Then more so, and even now, a nice head of hair is more desirable.
Just look at Gagne's book compared to other fitness books and magazines of the 1960s.
In order to pay for all this crap, you needed the WCW Superstar Series Credit Cars. I know my dad pulled out his Goldberg credit card to pay for the caviar and champagne all the time.